Brainteaser!!

Since i have been reading and saw some riddles. I'll post some here to brain tease some of you. Lets see how many can you get answers can you get.


1) I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody.

2) What goes round the house and in the house but never touches the house?

3)What is it that you can keep after giving it to someone else?

4) What walks all day on its head?

5) The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

Well.. i'll post the answers later on.. meanwhile.. try and see if you can solve these simple riddles..

Gardenia Bread!!

Here's something interesting on how to buy your fresh wholesome Gardenia bread.

When you buy your bread, have you wondered how to choose and which one is the freshest of em all? Some say they "squeeze" for freshness and softness. Some say check the expiry date, my mum taught me to look for the longest expiry date and check around make sure there are no fungus growing on the bread.

Did you know that the bread is delivered freshly to the stores 5 days in a week?

They are delivered on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday
Each and everyday they have a different colour twist tie (that explains much how come there are so many different colour twist tie)

They are : -
Blue on Mondays
Green on Tuesday
Red on Thursday
White on Friday &
Yellow on Saturday

So if today Tuesday.. you would want a green colour twist tie instead of Yellow that is produced on Saturday.

I hope this is interesting and actually enlightens you why is the bread twist tie clip in different colours.

So enjoy fresh bread when you buy the right colour on the right day of your grocery shopping day!

Please comment if you find this useful or interesting and spread the word!

100 Keyboard Shortcuts!

Well keyboard shortcuts are common among us. But how many shortcuts do you know?

Ctrl c for copy, Ctrl x for cut and the list goes on. But if i would to think back about shortcuts.. i only know a handful of it. So today here is 100 shortcuts to your keyboard to enable better productivity.



Standard Shortcut



CTRL+C (Copy)

CTRL+X (Cut)

CTRL+V (Paste)

CTRL+Z (Undo)

DELETE (Delete)

SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin)

CTRL while dragging an item using your mouse (Copy the selected item)

CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)

F2 key (Rename the selected item)

CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word)CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word)CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph)CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph)CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)

SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text in a document)

CTRL+A (Select all)

F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)

ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)

ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)

ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)

ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)

CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have multiple documents open simultaneously)

ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)

ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)

F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)

F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)

SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)

ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)

CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)

ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the corresponding command)

F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)

RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)

LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)

F5 key (Update the active window)

BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)

ESC (Cancel the current task)

SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the CD-ROM from automatically playing)



Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts



CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)

CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)

TAB (Move forward through the options)

SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)

ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the corresponding option)

ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)

SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)

Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons)

F1 key (Display Help)

F4 key (Display the items in the active list)

BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box)



m*cro$oft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts



Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)

Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)

Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)

Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)

Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)

Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)

Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)

CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)

Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)

Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)

Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)

Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)



Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts



Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch Filter Keys either on or off)

Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)

Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the Mouse Keys either on or off)

SHIFT five times (Switch the Sticky Keys either on or off)

NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the Toggle Keys either on or off)

Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)



Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts



END (Display the bottom of the active window)

HOME (Display the top of the active window)

NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under the selected folder)NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)

NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)

LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the parent folder)RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select the first subfolder)



Shortcut Keys for Character Map

After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:

RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)

LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)

UP ARROW (Move up one row)

DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)

PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)

PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)

HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)

END (Move to the end of the line)

CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)

CTRL+END (Move to the last character)

SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is selected)



m*cro$oft Management Console (MMC)Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts



CTRL+O (Open a saved console)

CTRL+N (Open a new console)

CTRL+S (Save the open console)

CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)

CTRL+W (Open a new window)

F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)

ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)

ALT+F4 (Close the console)

ALT+A (Display the Action menu)

ALT+V (Display the View menu)

ALT+F (Display the File menu)

ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)



MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts



CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)

ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)

SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)

F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)

F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)

CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)

CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)

ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected item)

F2 key (Rename the selected item)

CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only oneconsole window, this shortcut closes the console)



Remote Desktop Connection Navigation



CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)

ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)

ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)

ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)

ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)

CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen)ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)

CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)

CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing

ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)



m*cro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation



CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)

CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)

CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)

CTRL+H (Open the History bar)

CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)

CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)

CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)

CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)

CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)

CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)

CTRL+W (Close the current window)



So i hope this post will give you more info on the shortcuts on your keyboard.



I learned alot of new shortcuts after this posting! I hope you do as well! Please do leave a comment on what do you think of this post or my blog. Thanks

Useful info in life! Part 2

Part 2

To check the freshness of mushroom
Sprinkle some salt on mushroom. If it turns black , it's fresh. If it turns yellow it's stale

To boil potatoes quickly
Skin one potato from one side only before boiling.

To boil eggs quickly
Add salt to the water and boil.

To defrost a frozen chicken
Soak the chicken in cold water and add two tablespoon of salt.

To check the freshness of fish
Put it in a bowl of cold water. If it floats is fresh.

To check the freshness of eggs
Put the eggs in water. If it becomes horizontal, it's fresh. If it becomes slanting, its 3 - 4 days old, if it becomes vertical, it's 10 days old. if it floats, it's stale

To remove ink from clothes
Put toothpaste on the ink spots generously and let it dry completely, then wash

To skin potatoes / Sweet potatoes quickly
Soak in cold water immediately after boiling

To get rid or mice / rats
Sprinkle black pepper in places where you find mice or rats. They will run away

To get rid of mosquitoes at night
Keep mint leaves near your bed or pillows and all around the room.

Broken glass
Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glasses - the fibre cathes the ones you can't see!

Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substance into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, next add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realise that you forgot to include something inside. Just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for 2 hours. Voila! it unseals easily.

Take baby powder to the beach
Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. when you're ready to leave the beach, sprinkle yourself and kids with the baby powder and the remaining sands on your body will slide right off your skin

Hope you learn something new!!

Useful info in life! Part 1

This maybe general knowledge but frankly speaking most of the stuff i didn't know about it as well. I got it from a forwarded email, since its very useful, i'll post it here in..

If you have a problem with ants at home.
Keep the skin of cucumbers near the place or ant holes

To get pure and clean ice.
Boil the water first before freezing

To clean mirror
Clean with Spirit / use newspaper

To remove chewing gum from clothes
Keep the cloth in the freezer for an hour

To whiten white clothes
Soak white clothes in hot water with a slice of lemon for 10 minutes, then wash

To give shine to your hair
Add one teaspoon of vinegar to your hair, then wash

To get the most juice out of a lemons
Soak lemon in hot water for one hour, and then juice them

To get rid the smell of fish from your hands
Wash you hands with a lil apple vinegar

To avoid tears while cutting onions
Chew Gum / Soak them in water before cutting them

Is this information useful.. come in here again 2moro for continuation of it.. stay tuned!!

Prawning (15/12/2008)

Well since i've not been updating my blog as often as i used to due to work load and busy schedule. Today i found some lil time in between to update what i did yesterday.

After work went home and prepared my hooks for some prawning session with a friend who's so engrossed and curious on how i catch these tiger prawns.

He witnessed it and he tried it.. i think he's hooked to it as well. Thats good cause his mum don't really need to buy prawns from the market anymore.

Some updates on the prawns that i caught yesterday.

Each prawns is averagely about 9 inches. it weights more or less around 100 grams each.

Total catches for the day.. not bad i would say..

so if catch around 10 - 15 it makes a kg. This prawns are huge and.. its so yummy. Can't wait for it to be cooked.

Here are some of the prawns that i caught.. but this photo's are taken a few weeks back just didn't have the time to post.

These are some of the big prawns that i had previously. Freshly caught and steamed with egg white with lots of chinese rice wine. Taste heavenly!

I would say.. my hobby is a lil worth it.. why do i say that.. my mum don't need to buy anymore prawns from market.. my family only eat tiger prawns now.. my gf likes prawns to the max.. so its like 1 arrow hitting a few bull eyes hehee..

Next food post.. Coffee Crab...

Even Lower fuel prices!!

After tonight the fuel prices will be even lower than RM 1.90. Fuels price reduction due to the price reduction in the world crude oil prices.

Well its good at least the fuel price is down.. lets hope everything goes down as well include food, drinks, pampers, and even teh tarik.

Due to recent price hike in June from RM 1.92 to RM 2.70 everything shot up ski high.. but ever since the price reduction.. i don't see much in reduction on food, milk powder and other stuffs.

I think someone should write to the government to ask the traders to lower the raw materials so it benefits everyone.

Lower fuel prices??

Since the global fuel price is reducing almost everyday. Wonder when will the oil price reduce. Could it be next week, next fortnight, or maybe tomorrow?

i have a feeling that it will be tomorrow. As the gov mentioned before that if the global fuel price remains stable for 2 weeks they will reduce the price again.

Golden Pomfret frenzy!!

Works catching up.. time's flying fast.. so many things to do but so little time..
Almost forgotten that i actually have a blog hahaha.

Well this post is nothing much to shout about.. just that i've officially got my Pomfret license in fishing. Well i already got it the last time about a month back but its not counted cause as it is foul hooked.. this time i got it right in the mouth when it was nibbling my prawn bait away..

1st couple of hours i wasn't having any fun fishing and kinda regreted coming to fish on that day.. but soon grace was upon me and my sifu and we're hooking these Golden pomfret while it is having its frenzy.. all in all i caught 4 Golden Pomfret size ranging from 2kg - 3kg.. huge fish..
the worst thing is i had to carry my fish plus my sifu's fish along to go to the counter to check out of the fishing pond.

Its freaking heavy that's all i can say.. but the smile on my face... Joker also have to salute ahaha.
Here are the pic of the total pomfret we caught.. If we were to base on carrefour prices that is selling these fishes at RM 25 per kg.. we have about RM 350 here

My setup arsenal was

Rod : Lemax President Royal 6 feet

Reel : Ryobi Excia 4000

Line : Power pro 30lbs

Leader : 40 lbs el cheapo fisherman brand

Hooks : Maruto Circle hooks size 16

Japanese Food Fair - The Gardens

Hey Everyone, the gardens LG (lower ground) is having Japanese food fair.

Foods like instant noodle, cookies, snacks, green tea, salad Sauce (yum yums!), Miso Soup paste, seaweeds, and lots more.

Check it out in the gardens lower ground floor right outside the Cold Storage store.

Not forgetting mid valley is having some outdoor sports sale in their Exhibition Hall 3. Check it out if you're free and its time to save some money by buying cheaper products!

What does Engineers think about women!

I haven't been blogging for a while.. but this following post seems too good not to post hahaha.

So sit back relax and have a great laugh..

TIger Prawning Revisit!!

Well one of my favourite Tiger Pay Ponds closed shop due to bad business..



I can say the previous owner does not know how to maintain the business.. but anyway .. its back in business with a new owner..



Located along Jalan Meru..



I Was there on monday night for 3 hours.. total catch 1.4kg... I would say its very good already.. cause some prawns its about 9 inches.. damn the prawns are huge.. As I’m posting this I can imagine my gf drooling over the prawns already. Its very challenging as the prawns are huge and the fight is awesome.. Lost a lot of biggies.. Averagely each prawns for the big ones is about 80 - 100 grams each. Had fun looking at the bend telescopic rod and a mere 6lbs monofilament line..





Tiger Rambutan anyone??

Just four prawns enought to cover my whole palms already.

Can't wait to eat the big, juicy and fat prawns hehe..

Anyone interested in joining me? Give me a buzz..

Aiya.. i kena tag wor..

Okie.. its been a while since i last blogged.. damn long ago... well actually its been about 2 months nia . hehee.. out of a sudden i decided to log in and i got tagged.. hmm well i never been tagged before so its ok hahah.. okie here it goes



1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yeah Simon Templer.. from The Saint

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Ages ago..

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yea.. sometimes..

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Curry Chicken

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Nope

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure why not

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Nope

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? If its free or paid for.. i don't really mind.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Coco Crunch

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope.. too lazy..

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Okie la.. not like Arnold though.. :)

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? New Zealand Ice Cream and Gellato..

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes

15. RED OR PINK? Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? My weight

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My old obedient dog..

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes, if they are willing to spend some time to do it.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Dark blue pants & Black cheap leather shoes

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Bihun topped with luncheon meat, curry chicken gravy and fried egg..

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Sounds coming out from Aircond and Fan behind me

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue perhaps..

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? The smell of the ripe fruits when you go into a fruit shop

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My Gf

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes, got it from my buddy

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Fishing

27. HAIR COLOR? Black hair and some turning white already..

28. EYE COLOR? Dark rown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Curry Chicken

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Hancock

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter.. but where is the Autumn and Spring??

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Ice Cream

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Friendly

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Pariah & Sarcastic

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I don't really read books..

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Is the working table considered my mouse pad?

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Didn't watch tv.. was out the whole day

42. FAVORITE SOUND? Sound of waves crashing onto the seashore.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles..

44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Hong Kong

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Talent eh... yeah.. i'm good in eating. i'm a natural born eater..

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a clinic in Taiping, Perak

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?

Sarah, Karen Lim

The Stubborn Cat!

A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my Mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me but it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car......

Farts!!

A fart can be quiet
A fart can be loud
Some leave a powerful
Poisonous cloud.

A fart might not smell
While others are vile
A fart may pass quickly
Or linger awhile.

A fart may be steamy
Or come with a leak
The more you suppress 'em
The more they will "speak."

A fart can occur
In a number of places
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies
To small elevators
A fart will find al of us
Sooner or later.

Not all farts are bad
This is simply not true
We mustn't forget
Dear sweet, old farts like you!

Job Interview

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give the fishos a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains

were heading towards each other on the same track?"

Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track."

"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.

"I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom.

"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

"Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

"What if that public phone had been vandalized?"

"Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo.

"This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?"

"Because he's never seen a train crash!"

Sex!!

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.

She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?

" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

Mum Breaking plates

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It's mummy!

Father: How do you know?

Daughter: She didn't say anything.

Laws of the Natural Universe!

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Things to say if caught sleeping at work!

1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

2. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."

3. "I was working smarter-not harder."

4. "Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."

5. "Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

6. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

7. "I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."

8. "I was trying to remember where that difficult "Z" Key was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on my brain, or at least my forehead."

9. "I'm in the management training program."

10. "I'm actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"

13. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

14. "Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... the coffee machine is broken..."

15. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

16. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

17. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

18. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

19. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

20. "The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."

21. "Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day

Renewing road tax??

Next week would be my deadline for my car road tax to expire.. how?? i have a few choices.

1) Go to post office to renew and collect my rebate RM 625 as well there and then

2) Ask my dad to renew for me but i still need to go to the post office to collect the RM 625

Then i was thinking. Lunch time is limited to 1 hour only and during lunch time post office will be packed.. hmm.. how how how??

Then i stumble upon some radio commercials talking about renewing roadtax online. (talking bout technolody nowadays). Then i remembered Nuffnang posted the adds before about applying roadtax online..

so i opted for the 3rd choice which is go online at MYEG's website and did my stuff there.. i was a lil sceptical about it as the method of payment is not convenient except for credit card.. Then i was thinking.. how long does it take for them to renew a new road tax for me. since i have a few days more before my roadtax expires.. so i still have some time to spare before my roadtax expires. Then the question comes.. How am i gonna get the Rm 625 rebate? Then i made a call to the customer service line and they mentioned that they will send it by money order to me latest in 2 weeks time.

I remembered i paid at 10am this morning (16/07/2008) and i received it just now at 2pm..

I would say thumbs up to this service as it is superb and effective.. save me the time and hassle to go all the way to post office to do..

Pro's : you could just sit down and relax.. your roadtax will be send to your doorstep

Con's : you will not be richer RM 625 for the day.. hehe

Great Reasons To Be A Guy

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Wedding dress - $2,000.

Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.Gas (at either end) is cool.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

Something Interesting!!

A man called Ah beng owns a farm which can produce 10 apples every day.

He has 5 workers to operate the farm.

Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally.

The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.

He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities.

He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.

Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.

When Ah beng passed away and there is a new landlord, Ahmad comes to continue the farm operation.

He says to the workers:

" We need to improve the farm quality and redefine our way of thinking. From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat. It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the farm."

The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily. Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to M1.00 per person. As usual, Ahmad sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40. He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers. He gets RM5.00 as profit. On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers. In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.

Soon, the apple price increases to RM20 each. The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily. Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Sam.

Sam says:"Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik."So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50. In actual fact, the improvement only cost RM30. The remaining RM20, Ahmad and Sam share evenly among themselves.

Let's calculate how much Ahmad gets daily:

RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples:
[Gross profit, RM80] - [Improvementcost, RM50] - [Wages RM10] = RM20)
RM5 (from selling apples to his workers)

In total, Ahmad gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes overthe farm from Ah beng.

His profit increases RM25 and the workers are still getting RM1.00 daily perperson.

The greedy Ahmad does not want to stop there.

One day, he says to his fellow workers:" You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying RM1. See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apple you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00.

This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this.In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bear the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all.

"So, greedy Ahmad adds RM2.50 to his current profit and the number becomes RM37.50.

After you have read the story, I am sure you have already understood the meaning/concept of "SUBSIDY" given by the "U-no-hu"

The RM95 subsidy never existed in the first place and so was the RM52 billion fuel subsidy generously "given" by the "U-no-hu".

Cutting fuel subsidy is actually just a reason to steal money from your pocket.

THE THEORY OF REVERSE DYNAMICS

When a man becomes rich, he becomes naughty.

When a woman becomes naughty, she becomes rich.

Italian Advice

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.

"You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leava me your Rolex watch instead."

"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos.

Somma day you gonna coma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. "Whadda you gonna do then......pointa to you watch and a say, Times Up ??"

Difference Between you and your Boss

When you take a long time, you're slow.

When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't get something done, you're lazy.

When your boss doesn't get something done, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.

When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When you do it your own way, you don't do what your told.

When your boss does it, he's showing creativity.

When you do it on your own, you're overstepping your bounds.

When your boss does it, he's demonstrating initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.

When your boss takes a stand, he's being firm.

When you violate a rule, you're self-centered.

When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're brown-nosing.

When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you help a peer, you're not busy enough.

When your boss does it, he's a team player.

When someone else does your work, you're passing the buck.

When someone else does his work, he's assigning responsibility.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

When your bosses out of the office, he's on business.

When you call in sick, you're going golfing.

When your boss calls in sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.

When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

When you're seen shopping during work hours, you're a slacker.

When your boss is doing the same, he's picking up office supplies.

When you get a raise, you're lucky.

When he gets one, he really earned it.

When you do a good job, you get a pat on the back.

When he does a good job, he gets a bonus.

Confusing English??

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Hollandcalled Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to maketerrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars haveparking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Humans ???

13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???

Laughing at Pregnant Woman

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

The case came before the court, and when asked why he acted in such a manner, the man replied, "When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read, 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.'

Then she moved under one that read, 'Sloans Liniments Remove Swelling.' I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read, 'William's Stick Did The Trick.' Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read, 'Dunlop rubbers would have prevented this accident.'"He won the case.

Jensen's Birthday Gathering

This is a long Overdued post. We celebrated Jensen's birthday in Zen Japanese Restaurant in Pyramid on 28/06/2008.

This is what Jensen had for his birthday dinner hahaha..



There is actually an incident whereby the softshell crab came soft.. meaning that its not crunchy at all.. its soft and soggy. So our Taiko Jensen had to ask the waiter to come. The waiter quoted to him. ..

"sorry sir.. all the soft shell crab is soft or one of it?"

What a question.. if we would've tasted and see which is soft and which is hard the whole plate of softshell crab would be missing isn't it? This one quoted from my gf.

The thing is they're not proactive in changing it.. they'll ask you whats wrong and why you want to change and silly questions and debates around.

The Tofu that we had.. Agedishi Tofu..


Mabel holding the pickle and some other vege

Alice and Grace posing but the waiter's hand had to come into the pic.. sigh

This is what i had..close up shot of the Unagi

nice Unagi set which comes with sashimi.. yum yums!

Close shot of the sashimi.. i remember salmon, Tuna and something else which i forgot hahha..

Sealion Part 2

Decided to pay a visit to the pond since we had a productive time previously.. They've changed the water for the pond because about 1 week already and it was drizzling when i was on my way there at about 8pm from sifu's place.
Reached and proceeded to get ready with our gears and check in at 8.20pm.. lots of people checking out empty handed.. i counted about 4 anglers coming out empty handed.. looks like fish is not biting.. i told my sifu.. "how.. fish not biting" he said "Since we're here.. check in only la"

Okie lor.. checked in and used my newly bought lemax President Royal 6 feet 8-17lbs test rod for the opening ceremony..

Rod : Lemax President Royal 6 feet
Reel : Ryobi Excia 4000
Line : Power Pro 30lbs
Leader : 50lbs Berkley Varnish flurocarbon leader
Hook : Kantuki Chinu size 1
Weight : size 2 1/2 sliding sinker.

After a few cast.. still no bites.. look around the pond and observed not much action around the pond. Then a guy beside me landed a Mangrove Jack on the float setup.. i looked at his catch and wonder to myself.. why no fish bite my line one? Just as i finish having the thought i reeled in my line little but little and it got stuck to something, lift up my rod and my rod bend into a "U" shape and line stripping out from my reel and reel screaming.. a hook up.. the fight fought very hard and after that the next trouble is we didn't bring a landing net.. so its kinda hard to land without a landing net.. then my sifu bend down and pull up the fish for me.. ahhh.. sigh of relief.. hehe..

A nice Mangrove Jack size 1.3kg .. didn't took the pic of the fish at that time cause hands is dirty from the baits and saltwater..

Then coming into the 2nd hour.. a few fishes landed here and there and i saw people using dead baits (kembong, selar, dead prawns) and scoring. Then i changed to a dead prawn and cast as far as i can possibly reach to the sangkar (fish net) and it landed below the fish net hehehe.. smiling as the cast is very good and waited.. as i waited and waited.. no bites and its already 1 1/2 hours through the fishing time d.. then as i was talking to my sifu i said "how come no fish bite my bait one.. "hhehe.. true enough as i pull in the line to check, the fish also pulled hehehe.. after some fight.. landed a 1.5kg Golden Snapper..

Overall i would say this is a very Good opening ceremony trip for my new 6ft Lemax President Rod.


The ever so strong Ang Cho (Golden Snapper)



Total Catches for 3 hours

Golden Snapper 1.5kg and 1.6 kg and Mangrove Jack 1.3 kg.

Jamaican Interview

A Jamaican man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" The Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.

" The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred." "So, when I start?"

Fishing in Sealion on 21/06/2008

On my way to sealion at about 2.50 pm from my sifu's place in klang.. it rained super heavily.. so heavy that i hardly can see the road.. but lights were on and container lorries paving the way through the puddles of water on the road. Arrived at sealion at about 3pm. Bought baits, checked in and it was drizzling still.. went to the booth that don't have people and "park" there. Lines cast everywhere but no bites registered.

About 1 hour later.. also no bites as i've shifted places about 3 - 4 times.. tried all kinds of method.. casting, bottom and mid water.. but still no bites.. but there is a particular corner which is registering bites non stop.. but there are about 10 anglers there.. typical pasar malam situation when bites and fish landed.

Didn't produce any results as well until my sifu saw his friend.. he took my sifu's rod and he tested and tried a few places.. finally the pasar malam crowd subsided and there is a lil room to fish there.. learned a few methods by observing but i still didn't get any bites.. he got a 1st fish after about 15 minutes locating the fishes.. the next fish up in 10 minutes.. i was thinking.. damn this guy is damn good.. (heard from the people there that the boss actually pay him RM 50 so he would not fish) he's damn good.. total he fished for us for about 2 hours.. 8 hook ups.. 5 landed and 3 escaped (due to jealous ppl.. line sangkut... let go line la.. still wanna fight and though it was him that kena fish.. typical kiasu ma chan's there) 1 hook straightened and the other leader snapped..

For me still no bited yet after he registered his 3rd fish.. then his friend took my rod and tested for me.. took some dead prawns and in 15 minutes.. he registered a nibble.. after that.. he striked hard and it put my lemax black panther 6 feet rod and reel to the ultimate test.. the rod bend like a "U" shape and reel drag locked as he reel the fish in.. landed a Mangrove Jack about 1.5 kg..

This ordeal repeated for 2 more times and it was time for them to go off.. passed the rod back to me and my sifu.. time shows that fishing is already at about 3 1/2 hours and left us with 30 minutes to try and learn his method.. During this time.. i didn't realised that my drag was locked.. i registered a bite and i waited for about 3 seconds and i gave a hard jerk.. hook up but not landed.. fish lost due to hook up too early and fish lost while struggling to get free.. tried again after 10 minutes and a bite is detected and allow the fish some time to enjoy the fresh prawn on the end of the hook and saw my line moving.. a sign of fish swollowed and strike.. hook up and landed a 2kg ang cho.. all in all its a fun learning time.. the best part is .. fishes landed is with our rod, reel, line, leader, hooks, sinker and prawns.. all ours.. just the skill from them.. so proven that rod and reel is fine only our skill is not up to par..

so back to the drawing board.. have to learn to cast to the designated spot with light baits on the end of the line.. learn timing to retrieve the line.. when bites registered.. dun "kan cheong" and wait.. the longer you wait.. the higher the chances of hook up cause the fill will swollow the hook by then..

strong leader and a good rod about 7 feet with long but for fighting power and fish handling is required.. the power comes from the forearm when handling the fish.. not the wrist.. i've learn alot during this outing and it was wet (raining) fun (scooping the fish with net) and experience.. never before i brought fish as we were walking out to the counter everybody that was fishing there jaw dropped as i was holding 9 fish at the end of the lines...

What a fun experience..
Golden Snapper Top view


Fishes

A pompano

Total catch for 4 hours

A Mangrove Jack getting ready to bee cooked.

Random pics of Food!!

Haven't been posting lately due to heavy workload in the office.

Here is some pics randomly from my camera phone.

*Warning.. please do not look at the pics with an empty stomach. Failure to do so may result in Keyboard faulty due to overloading saliva dripping from the hungry readers!!

This is a chicken chop from a old kopitiam in port klang..very nice and tasty

They also serve toast with kaya and butter for you to put it yourself. Some people likes lots of butter with less kaya or vice versa.. i like it equal

Butter Crabs for dinner in Venicia.. 3 huge meat crabs.. very fresh and tasty.. yum yum..

4 season.. or is it 5 seasons.. got 5 types of dishes in Venicia.. a restaurant in selayang.. the food is simply fabulous.. This event is conjuntion with Dan aka BUBU's birthday on 14/06/2008

Another view of the 4/5 season dish.
I didn't take much photo's cause its really time wasting cause we have 16 hungry faces looking and you salivating and waiting for you to finish.. so i just managed to take only this food.. the rest that we had was a surprise cause we only told the chef the budget and total of pax and he prepared the food for us.

This is located at the restaurant in SS3.. Restaurant name Siong Hee

"Kung Po Kai Ting" (chicken cooked with dried chili)


"Curry Mountain Pork" (Kali San Chu Yuk)
I think this dish kena con already cause it doesn't take like wildboar.. it taste like ordinary pork..

That's all the updates i have for now..

Acronym

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN: It Still Does Nothing

APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI: System Can't See It

DOS: Defective Operating System

BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM: I Blame Microsoft

DEC: Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM: Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW: World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

RISC: Reduced Into Silly Code

Divorce??

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME!?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares."

The hunter

Johnny went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like smart kids.
The game warden ordered Johnny to show his hunting license, and Johnny pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?"

Then Johnny reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?"

Johnny reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't Manitoba duck. This duck is from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?"

Again the kid reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at Johnny "Just where the hell are you from?"

Johnny smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said,

"You tell me, you're the expert..."

Smart Boy named Timmy

There was a little boy named Timmy who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Timmy's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Timmy his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and Timmy would always take the nickel ... they said, because it was bigger.

One day after Little Timmy grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Timmy, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Slowly, Little Timmy turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and he said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!"

Hardest Language!!

English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning.
Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!

Drunk!!

A man went into a bar and ordered several shots of vodka. By the time the bar was closing, he was wasted.
He got up to leave and fell flat on his face. "Well, I don't want the bartender to think I'm drunk, so I'll pretend I tripped and I'll try it again." So he gets up and falls on his face.

"Well, the door's not too far away; I'll just crawl." When he gets outside he thinks, "Well, I only live 4 blocks away; I can make it that far." So he stands up and falls on his face.

He decides he'll try it one block at a time, and at every block he falls flat on his face. Finally he makes it home, stands up and falls on the bed. In the morning his wife wakes him up.

"You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"The bartender called. He said you left your wheelchair at the bar."

3 man's speech

Three top pro speakers from different countries were invited to give a talk to a
Deaf Society.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen".

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English angel and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.

When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen".

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland angels and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.

When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying -
Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."

Cork or fate?

One day in the locker room, Bob sees a fat man with a cork in his ass. Curious, he asks the man how it got there.

"Well," says the man, "I was walking along the beach when I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke and this great big guy in a turban came oozing out, saying, 'I am a genie. I can grant you one wish.' And I said, 'No shit!'"

One Briliant Kid!

A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the
middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely.

"But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued.
"You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree...
...and then I paint the target around it."

That is what i call think outside the box

Bubba Gump Shrimps!

It was my SILO's birthday yesterday.. i'll let you figure out what is Silo..there is silo, milo and filo hahaha.. decided to barge in for dinner with my gf in Bubba Gump's restaurant in the curve.. nice place.. cozy and cooling (if you get the table inside the shop lot) if not outside its a lil warm.

This place is a lil different from other rest like chili's, monte's and other places la.. they have nice decoration all around.. nice seating places.. tall chairs for people who likes to hang out in the bar..

On the table where we were sitting is given a bucket.. in the bucket there is wet tissues, a roll of kitchen tissue, lingam's sauce, heinz tomato sauce and heinz vinegar.. its attached to a chain and at the end of the chain would be a ping pong bat with the menu of the drinks, cocktails and desserts.

i'll let the pics do the talking now..

Bubba Gump Shrimps Logo

Outside the restaurant they have this souvenier shop to sell the products like T-shirts, caps, glasses, key chains, pingpong bats and more.

My Bro Taking pic while waiting for food

Pingpong bat with the menu on desserts and drinks

Some Trivia before for you to crack your head so that it'll enlight the thought of the hungry feeling you had

There is this plate on every table for people to call the waiter/waitress.. this is what i call waiter traffic lights..
If you don't need the waiter just put the plate to Run Forest Run so they'll be around moving and looking for things to do

When you change to the red "stop forest stop", its a sign for the waiters to stop by your table and take your order or anything you need .. very creative..

After ordering the waiters came over and gave us 3 trivia questions.. if we get all 3 trivia answers correctly .. he'll refill our drink for free.. The questions is all related to the show "Forest Gump"

We didn't have to wait very long for our food and i'll let the pics do the talking instead!!

Pasta with the huge bread

Accidental Fish and Prawns

Barramundi served with mashed potato and some prawns

4types of shrimps

4 types of shrimps(top view)

Tall Comfy chairs by the bar

My cute lil nephew... Simeon

Mabel outside the Restaurant

June's Birthday

Overall.. in interesting place to discover and dine.. try it..