Husband & Wife Jokes

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said,
"One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband & Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.
" Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
One of his friends asked." And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out:
"Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

Petrol Kiosk Jam

Yesterday 04/06/08 was a nightmare for everyone. The super heavy downpour plus the price hike news and not forgetting the after office hours cause massive jam in all major roads.

I left office at about 6.30 cause it was raining heavily and left when it was still drizzling, saw line and lines of cars jammed near my house but i thought its because of the new traffic lights they build ealier this year. After getting close to the bottle neck of the jam here's what i saw.



it looks as if the petrol kiosk is giving free fuel where everyone is lining up to get their share.. but no.. its because its announced that the fuel price will hike up RM 0.78 cents per litre. its extra about RM39 bucks for a full tank car for 50 litres fuel tank capacity car.

Went over to the western food in ss3 near the Shell station and just took a random photo of the traffic situation.. still chaotic man..



well this is just the beginning.. with the rise of fuel price.. there will be rise in every single thing in our everyday life except for one thing.. our SALARY!!

How i wish that the company will also increase my salary RM 0.50 per every ringgit im earning.. that would be great.

Experienced

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle (Cuddles) along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing Butterflies and before long Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here"?

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!



Moral of this story...

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullsh!t and brilliance only come with age and experience.